I’m not going to lie, I was not feeling optimistic when I started writing down people’s reactions to quitting my job and staying home with my kids. My expectation was that I would end up with a long list of negative statements and judgements. I realized afterward that this was probably my own insecurities and hesitation around the change. If you read my initial post on why I quit my job, you know that I never saw myself as a stay at home mom. I have been working traditional full time jobs for the past 10 years. It’s not that I didn’t respect the work of at an home mom “career”, but I was (AM) unsure of my ability to be as disciplined and accomplish as much as I see other moms out there doing. I thrive on structure and routine and unfortunately I have relied on working for someone to give me that structure. So I was the first person that judged this decision.
A huge chunk of my life has been spent studying and growing professionally and it makes up a huge part of my identity. So many questions were floating through my mind. Would I ever be able to get back in the field after walking away? Would I want to go back? Should I try a new field where I could potentially make more money? What do I really love? How would I even structure my day without being told what the deadlines are? What type of role would I play in my marriage if I didn’t bring home a paycheck anymore? Which is probably why someone said,
“Well I’m happy for you, but how do you feel?”
They could see my hesitation in how I shared the news. At the same time, I was incredibly excited to spend more time with my kids. I often felt like I didn’t get enough time with them and was worried when they were with others. Others were taking the lead on their developments and milestones.
I could have listened to these statements below and let them support my insecurities instead of slapping them away and pushing forth into what I know is right.
“So, you are JUST going to stay home with the kids?”
“That’s nice, I think I would get bored.”
“So what are you going to do all day, just chill and watch the kids.”
I know I don’t have to tell the mothers out there that all of the comments and others of that nature were not from parents. They have no clue what’s in store! I decided to embrace the positive instead. Many people were encouraging, congratulating me on the change. Saying,
“I get it. I really do.”
“I’m excited for you.”
“You have inspired me to make a change myself.”
These statements were SO powerful. You may be thinking, what’s the big deal? There are actually bad things out in the world, being a work at home mom does not fall in that category. That wasn’t really the point for me- it was the idea that there were people around me that supported and encouraged me. This is the kind of person that I thrive to be and hopefully am. We do not need to be doing the same thing to still be doing great. I can support working moms, single moms, stay at home moms, formula feeding moms, breastfeeding moms and the list goes on. This is the next step in my life and I’m not sure how long it will last, but I’m ready to enjoy my successes and get back up after failures I’m sure to experience. I’m also ready to encourage and support you in the choices you decide are best for yourself and your family.
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